Apr 10, 2009

Contented Connectedness

I woke up this morning with worship songs playing in my head. Now that's a great way to start the day, any day!
It's all because I live with a gifted musician!! What better room mate could the Lord have chosen for me?  Kathy is also a missionary to Mozambique Africa. God blessed us with a special friendship while we served Him in Mozambique last summer. 

As I sit here this morning, praying and talking to God I am once again conscious of how much my life has changed. Just 2 years ago my world looked completely different. 
I lived in a big house with my husband, my son was getting ready to graduate from high school, I was working full time with Hospice, we had plans for the rest of our lives... and life was good and complete.

Yet in the matter of 23 days, my husband had gone home to be with the Lord, and my life would never be the same again.
Yes, it's been quite the journey, these past 2 years. 

As I look back and marvel at the path the Lord has had me on, tears still quickly come to my eyes, but for a different reason now. No longer tears of grief, and loss. The tears now are of gratitude for the Lord's presence in my life, His constant provision and the personal relationship I have with Him.

The Lord is faithful and He has proven this to me over and over again!

As I enjoy the sunshine in my new home in Cedar Rapids, I look back and all I can think about is how much more I have now.  I don't mean material things, I gave away everything I owned. It's more than stuff. 
Is that possible, can that truly be possible that I actually have more now?

I just returned from a trip to NY to visit family and friends before I head back to Mozambique.
While I was there, it became clear to me that NY is no longer home, I was a visitor.

This was not a bad revelation, it actually helped me to understand that I have done what the Lord has shown me to do these past months.
I have questioned my feelings of belonging, my content heart my peaceful attitude living here in Cedar Rapids.
I am content, more than content, but should I be? Is this normal?

As I have prayed and asked God to help me understand these feelings, he has shown me that my contentedness comes from my connectedness to Him.
That's it, I am closer to God, closer than ever before, and in that comes my inexplainable calm and peace. My overall feeling of belonging, "to be content whatever the circumstances" as Paul wrote to the Philippians. 

I never would have guessed that as God walked with me through my valley, He would have brought me to a place of greater joy and peace and comfort than I could have imagined.

I praise God for all things, as all things are totally under His control.
Praise be to God our risen Lord and Savior.

 Philippians 4:10-13  I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in wnat. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.