Depth of Faith

I remember when I first came to know the Lord as my personal savior, I thought now I have faith.  I  rested in it, I trusted that to be fact.

I did bible studies,  took discipleship classes, got baptized, read my bible everyday, I was growing my faith, right?

I was even more convinced that I had sufficient faith when Jimmy died. Because I know that my faith is the only thing that got me through that period in my life. 

Yet now as I look back, I question the depth of my faith. I wonder because in my heart I know I still doubted, I still worried. I didn't really and truly trust that God would or could take care of ALL my needs. 

I would say and do all the right things, but I also spent a lot of time trying to work things out on my own. Not totally trusting God's promises.

I guess I wasn't willing to accept the fact that I no longer had control over my life. I had agreed to give that control to my Lord. Yet I still felt compelled to 'help Him out' with the everyday stuff. 

 I spent a lot of unnecessary time and energy worrying about things I had absolutely no control over. I mean I really wasted some time! 

As God is daily showing me His mercy and grace, I am able to see with increasing clarity that faith is more than a word, or a thought. It's a way of living your life totally surrendered to the Lord's will. No matter what that might look like.

 I believe God increases our faith as we increase our unconditional love and trust in Him. As we walk in total faith and trust that He will provide for absolutely all of our needs.

Just this past week God has shown me, in multiple ways, how the depth of my faith is rewarded, by grace upon grace, blessing upon blessing.

I am so grateful that God was willing to wait until I could finally see that it's not at all about me, but it is totally and completely about Him.

Psalm 138 :1-3 'I give you thanks, O God, with all my heart, I will sing your praises before the gods. I bow before your holy temple as I worship. I praise your name for your unfailing love and faithfulness; for your promises are backed  by all the honor of your name. As soon as I pray, you answer me, you encourage me by giving me strength'.